cat

The Penny Well

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Moon_and_Cats__by_aimtBe careful when you wish for… Three cats turn their paws to paranormal investigation when a magic well spontaneously erupts in the basement. Worse things than talking toads are turning up with every bad penny, and it’s only a matter of time before this reality collides with another. Terminally… unless the cats can stop it.

Incubus Tat, the Vampire Cat: The Ninth Life

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It’s a sort of graphic novel, very deep, very dark, very scary and oh so politically incorrect. In truth it’s just written with a cat’s morality from a cat’s perspective. In The Ninth Life, the first of Inky’s adventures, you will discover the truth about a cat’s nine lives. No vampire would be caught dead sparkling in the sunlight here…

Is Chicken Road Real?

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chicken road
Chicken Road – the sign above the door

Chicken Road is a real place; with more magic than Hogwarts, greater villains than Darth Vader, and a community tighter than a prison. The Writer’s Retreat houses an oracle, a vampire cat and more nuts than you can shake a shovel at. And despite all this, Chicken Road has heart. It’s a place where neighbours help each other out, where people say ‘hello’ and where everyone knows your name and complete life story…

See the world through Chicken Road eyes and join me as I hack back the ‘sleeping beauty’ hedge, tame wild beasts, dabble in danger, and sit on the front step in my jammies drinking my morning coffee and waving to all the neighbours. Welcome to Chicken Road.

And, Chicken Road is on facebook – become a friend of Chicken Road!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chicken-Road-Diaries/197578176930374?ref=tn_tnmn

Incubus Tat (the vampire cat)

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Incubus Tat the Vampire Cat
Flossy AKA Incubus Tat the Vampire Cat

Stinky Inky is so Slinky… Stinky Inky is so Slinky…
Say it faster and faster….
Until you can’t.
And then… You die? Perhaps…

Incubus Tat, or Inky, will decide…

Chicken Road retreat is a plague house

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cropped-chickenrd2.jpgWe are all sick, even Flossy the wondercat is ill. Worryingly, all but me are suffering the same malady – even the cat; vomiting and… the other thing. I just have a head cold from sitting on an airplane with 300 people for 8 hours. But I digress.  We should have a large bell ringing outside and someone calling ‘unclean! unclean!’ Or maybe paint a big red cross on the door and the words ‘Lord have mercy on us!’ Whereupon, according to Maize in her article ‘The Plague House’, people called ‘searchers of the dead’ would lock us inside for 40 days!

What?

With no wine or cat food? Perish the thought…

I’m starting to feel better, honest!

The calm before the storm…

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Or am I in the centre of a hurricane? I can’t tell, but things are ominously quiet here on Chicken Road. We had a low key Happy Tuesday yesterday. Yes I plodged through the almost dry and not at all muddy fields yesterday, easily skipping over piles of horse poo. Shopping was achieved without a goblin attack. Bridges were crossed without rousing the politest of trolls…. Something feels wrong…
 
I came home and cooked my version of Chicken cacciatore with the slap dash ease of Jamie Oliver – it was delicious. Flossy the Hell-cat even submitted to having her ears examined, the beast went flat on the floor at my command and actually allowed me to put the drops in! No claws, hissing or biting…Hmmmm…
To make matters worse, I have awoken after a peaceful nights sleep feeling suspiciously refreshed to a tidy house with no one in it! No pesky relatives, noisy children or nosey neighbours. And it’s freaking me out! The birds are twittering (I’m convinced they’re in on it), the sky is its usual shade of battle ship grey and it’s just not right! I tell you, there has been a tremor in The Force somewhere in the multiverse and like tsunami sized ripples in life’s pond, I’m just waiting for it to hit.
Ever get that feeling?
The only thing bringing a reassuring sense of normalcy to my life is the web site that just won’t upload to the new server, despite trawling laboriously through myriad online tutorials and a tortuous session with a ‘live-chat’ support person who was anything but supportive and actually hung up on me! Don’t you just love that? Yes, this is the rod of reason I must cling to… But I’m on my guard and ready for anything… It’s Weird Wednesday here on Chicken Road…

Here comes the tuna woman!

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Flossy, our cat, has had an ear infection requiring yours truly to clean her ears and administer ear drops. Flossy is far from placid. It could be said she is a feline with some serious attitude. The kind that bites first, asks questions later. Fearing for my life and wanting to keep the skin on my hands and face, I did a little research to see if I could find out how best to get the ear drops in without losing a limb. I read an article on the internet advising a treat both before and after the drops so that the cat would associate getting the ear drops with getting a treat, sort of Pavlov’s dog, only Chicken Road cat. And you know what? It worked. For her. Yes, that’s right, now she demands tuna morning and night whether she needs ear drops or not. We have conditioned her not to tolerate the ear drops, but to expect tuna twice per day. This morning I walked into the living room and was greeted by a delighted cat, chirping happily and licking her chops at me as if to say “hey you! Tuna woman! Get me my Tuna!” Oh yeah, somebody is being conditioned – and I think it’s me!